The Wondering Mind

REFLECTION



Every person desires to ask something which able them to answer their personal inquiry. Others may have to gather information in order for them to really affirm such evident. And perhaps through wondering of mind is something could able us to acquire more knowledge to a certain finite being. And so, with this discernment of mind my focus to my own experience in life, way back when the seminary gives me the one-year formation program on teaching regency, before continuing the theological formation. For such reason in order for me to cope with my personal leadership which I would have to develop. With this experience made me to gain more faith in God and faith in one self. For I could able to lived what I learned inside the seminary into the real present situation leaving with the other person, adjusting new values and culture, which also be part of my self-formation. Beside through that period of preparation I started to wonder and asked my self could I able to made it, could I able to handle student who are been hard headed, which I was also long before, could I continue my personal prayer, could I teach well, all of this are my anxiety, before I finally teach to a certain school in our own Diocese.
Through the years of teaching experience able me to appreciate and to value the true meaning of prayer a prayer which I did not experience before when I was still in the formation, there is really a different that I felt and a something new, something unusual. In fact it built me a personal and a true prayer before and after leaving the school for such another day for teaching the students, Before when I was still in the seminary I could not appreciate the essence of the holy mass for it is a daily routine schedule, but since I have this regency able me to value to attend everyday to strengthen me to continue teaching, since this is also one of the reason which the seminary have to send me to regency in order for me to built up self confidence and ever to develop my leadership.
Moreover, through teaching regency really helped me a lot to understand my own self, able me to be a mature person, physically and in spiritual maturation. Perhaps sometimes in my life journey could asked my self with a certain question that able me to ponder. Should it really important to go to this regency program just only to know one self. Should I have to teach only for me to have a develop leadership, should I attend mass just to develop my personal prayer and relationship to God. And I answer my self YES with a reflective mode, for me to develop will, for me to know my self better, for me to acknowledge the love of God I should have then to undergo such trial and self formation to be a good person. And in fact leadership develop more and more to handle such situation, before I really asked if I could ever continue to teach, but as the month indeed with out noticing it I then concluded that I really made it, the grace of God, through my own faith in him and of my self.